stereotropical

The Heat Lightning

2010-05-23T11:29:00.004-04:00

Yet another blog commute.

I've been writing with Liz and Alesh lately on a new blog called The Heat Lightning.

I've been posting at least twice a week there. Join us, will you?

Rome

2010-04-30T16:41:00.001-04:00

Imagine, if you would, that everything you were looking at has about 2000 years of history stemming from one of the greatest and most powerful civilizations that has ever existed. Yet despite buildings being built up on one another and hosting one of the most consistently used roads in history, pre-medieval/post ancient settlers had no idea an ancient civilization existed there at all.

Then, on top of all that, construct the origin of a religion at the center of western civilization and pour in an obscene amount of money and art like icing on a cake so dense that you can't cut it.

The end result is a city that you can't build a proper subway in because every time you dig you find history. You also get the European equivalent of Disneyworld: more weekend event than city, more teenage class trip than a place to raise a family.

Into this place throw two American twentysomethings, one has been here 5 times with his father (a professor in a study abroad program) and the other has never left the country before. Neither learns a lick of Italian, except for what they pick up from subway announcements.

They drink wine. They wander aimlessly. They embarrass themselves in front of shop keepers. They get blisters on their feet from walking upwards of 4 miles daily. They, by the end, never want to see a fresco or a marble bust ever again.

They see the Pope. Twice. The second time he's a white speck in a window no larger than a penciltip. They think he might be a puppet. Or a cardboard cutout.

They see a whole mess of other stuff, have a lot of fun, and (insert sappy stuff about friendship here).

Rest of pictures are here.

Rome

2010-04-28T00:17:00.002-04:00

The Abbey

2010-03-22T22:11:00.001-04:00

On 16th Street on South Beach, tucked innocently between Lincoln Road and a tire place on Alton, lies a small watering hole called The Abbey.

Miami Beach has it's share of beer bars at this point. None are places I would take an out of towner, none are places I can go to with a book as easily as I can go with a group of friends looking for a good time.

The bartenders will let you enjoy yourself or become a part of your evening with equal ease. The beer selection exhibits an unparalleled sense of taste; the menu features no fillers or second rates and, perhaps most importantly for its sense of atmosphere, no food that can be considered a meal.

A few months ago every storefront adjacent to it had been gutted and I assumed the building was slated for demolition. Now each sports a new windows and doors and I assume rent has skyrocketed. In either event, the result is the same: another Miami institution is being threatened by the march of progress.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Miami - not so bad sometimes

2010-03-16T13:59:00.002-04:00

My Shake-A-Leg Hat

2010-02-03T15:12:00.005-05:00

This is my Shake-a-leg hat. There are probably many like it, bleached from the sun and nearly unwearable, but this one is mine.

I wore this hat the first day I volunteered, kayaking with a group of kids from Miami Childrens Hospital. I wore it when I learned how to sail. I wore it around the office until someone complained. I still wear it kayaking because if I lose it, who cares?

It has sweatstains galore and I spilled windshield wiper fluid on it yesterday. Washing it is no longer of any help.

When I leave this place I intend to give it a Viking funeral. In the meantime it stays in my kitbag.

Mom's kit box

2010-01-21T13:16:00.000-05:00

My mom made dolls when I was a kid and spent a lot of time on the road going to doll shows all over the country. She had a kit box she brought with her that contained more or less anything she might need for a quick fix.

The contents are basically the same as when I inherited it, to wit:
- small compass (without lead)
- tiny stapler
- rubber bands (these are actually too old and are turning to jelly)
- toothpicks
- lighter (mom smoked a lot)
- 4 inch long bubble level (?!)
- xacto knife and blades
- drafting clips
- pushpins and paperclips
- hair clips (long metal kind usually used to hold fabric as Tacky Glue was setting)
- needles and thread
- rounded needle nose pliers
- eyeglass repair kit
- ribbon style tape measure
- krazy glue (long since dried out, replaced with some JB Weld)
- a couple of brushes

... all meticulously organized and put into small plastic cases. The only things I've added are things that needed replacing and my linoleum block cutters (seemed a good place for them). I am by nature not an organized person but have kept this box together for two reasons: one because it's an heirloom to me at this point and two because it's saved my ass many times.

Today I was putting together a little book of pictures of Biscayne Bay. I've never made a book and I've only recently started printing pictures again, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I was trying to figure out a way to hold the pages together while I punched holes for thread. I was pinching the book with one hand and digging through drawers with the other, looking for something I knew I wouldn't find when I thought to myself "I bet mom kept drafting clips in her kit."

Of course she did.

5 Minute Nook Review

2009-12-08T12:17:00.002-05:00

I spent 5 minutes with the Nook yesterday. I'd had the benefit of having read one review with a decent video walkthrough so I knew what I was doing well enough so as to provide offer the following observations:

1. The interface is at first glance intuitive yet is hampered by slowness of UI and the weird mix of touchscreen and physical buttons. Specifically, there are 3 modes of input: a color touchscreen separate from the reading screen, a set of left-right paging buttons and a home button. Each has it's own set of quirks (the home button is inexplicably not a click-button yet the paging buttons are) that, combined with sluggish responses, are confusing and make the overall experience not all that great.

2. The reading screen is about the size of a paperback, the total size is that of a hardcover, and yet the weight of the thing is more than both combined. Using the thing single handed was difficult and not something I'd want to do during a commute for extended periods of time.

That said: the concept behind the design terrific and the screen is a pleasure to read off of, but I still want to know: who needs this thing?

It's obvious that the e-reader market is going after three market segments:
1. Voracious readers of mass-market books
2. Commuters and/or people who want a more convenient way to read newspapers and other periodicals
3. Geeks that can (in theory) be turned into either or both of the above

Are any of these markets very large? As far as I can tell, NOT AT ALL. At least, not among those willing to shell out 250$ for a marginal increase in convenience matched with a marginal increase in frustration and hand cramping. Used books cost next to nothing and they're practically giving away magazine subscriptions these days. If I want to browse online content, I have a smartphone.

That said there will always be people too overwhelmed by gadget lust to care about the actual utility provided by a new device. Those people will buy e-readers today, mythical apple tablets tomorrow and crazy alternate universe Apple tablets somewhere inbetween.

blackberry-vanilla infused vodka

2009-10-13T15:51:00.001-04:00

gift part 2
Originally uploaded by krylonultraflat

1/2 a bottle of Ketel One goes into a blender with a chopped vanilla bean and a package of blackberries.

The resulting mix is left to sit for a week or two and then strained. It could probably be strained and drank today but the vanilla needs some time to settle out.

RSVP replies for my 10 year high school reunion

2009-10-07T23:53:00.000-04:00

"I regret to inform you that I will not be attending our high school reunion as I see no point in encountering people the memories of whom have been erased by alcohol"

"As I skipped most of high school, it would not be in proper form for me to attend. Therefore in keeping with tradition I will be skipping the reunion. I look forward to the 20 year reunion, which I will skip also."

"I regret to inform you that I will not be attending our high school reunion as I have gone through the guest list and now, as then, there is not a single woman I would sleep with"

"Due to the restrictive nature of concealed weapon permits and my inability to inhabit the same room as you people without a gun handy, I will unfortunately be unable to attend our class reunion"

"My parole officer was unwilling to grant me leave from house arrest to attend the reunion. Sorry."

"I have swine flu and my every orifice has become an evacuation zone for fluids. I regret my inability to attend. Go Cavs!"

"Unfortunately the Saturday evening of the reunion coincides with my cult's 'Day of Ascension'. I feel it necessary to inform you that I will likely not attend the 20 year reunion unless it is held within the Celestial Oneness"

AND THE REAL REASON I WILL NOT BE ATTENDING MY CLASS REUNION:
"Facebook has already given me more details into the lives of my former classmates than I wanted and no amount of alcohol is going to want to make me build on any of that. Also - too many of you are breeding and it weirds me out."

posted more of a reminder to self than as a blog post

2009-10-07T02:31:00.003-04:00

Set list (in no order)
buckets of rain - bob dylan
nasty dan - johnny cash
james alley blues - traditional/wilco
rowboat - beck
straight to hell - the clash
5 O'Clock world - the vogues
dead kennedys - kill the poor (in a deadpan)
talking heads - the big country
mountain goats - international small arms traffic blues

Scotch Cake - good idea? Bad idea? Awesome idea? Let's find out ... together.

2009-09-29T15:25:00.001-04:00

Rumcake is a hallowed tradition in my family. Made from a recipe* passed down from generation to ... well, one generation so far. Also it was stolen from a family friend who got the recipe from god knows where. I can't imagine from Family Circle or anything because the recipe calls for about 12 shots of rum (3 of which are for the cook).

Yesterday, in the proud tradition of taking family traditions and messing them up horribly, I tried to make Scotch Cake. I knew you could make Whiskey Cake but I did not have whiskey when I planned a completely random birthday party. I just had scotch, and not even enough to really make the recipe as planned.

The alcohol comes into play two ways: first when you add it to the batter and second when you make the glaze. It's necessary to add it to the batter because you're also adding in pudding mix for extra moisture, thickness, and "holy crap this is good"ness.

However I didn't think you taste much of the rum in the actual cake and that most of the flavor came from the glaze, which is really just butter, sugar, and rum (and if the thought of those combined didn't make you drool, you sir or madam are not human).

Thus I just added extra water to the mix that made a good cake but not an amazing cake. I can tell you though that the glaze itself was incredible, which makes up for it. Next time - more scotch.

Cake Recipe -
1 box yellow cake mix**
1 box (large) cook n' serve vanilla pudding
1 cup rum or scotch

Glaze Recipe -
1 stick melted butter
1 cup rum
1 cup sugar (split between white and brown sugar if you like, otherwise just white)

Bake according to box directions in a very well greased and floured bunt pan with hazelnuts or pecans in the bottom. Let cool, pop onto plate or into a large bowl that will let the glaze sit in the bottom without spilling all over the darn place. Melt butter in the microwave but try to not melt it all the way (helps the glaze stick better) and mix in rum and sugar. Poke holes in the top with a toothpick or fork and SLOWLY drizzle glaze all over. If it forms a nice little shiny surface over the top of the cake you did it right. If not, doesn't matter, it still tastes gooooood.

* yeah not really a recipe if it involves a box is it
** see previous

luchadors

2009-09-24T11:21:00.001-04:00

DSC_3441
Originally uploaded by krylonultraflat

A high-output LED flashlight ≥ a flash snoot. I need to buy a more powerful one.

Pictures from Amy's Birthday and Taco Extravaganza are here.

problems

2009-09-22T10:58:00.000-04:00

"The problem with Miami is that everyone is on vacation, and it's like day 3 of a trip where you just start to lose your mind slightly but stretched out over a lifetime."
Jose, the most sage 16 year old I know

The problem with Miami is that social interaction doesn't progress past a 10th grade level.
Me, at some point last week

"The problem with Miami is people who say 'the problem with Miami is...' too much"
You, after reading this blog entry

somewhat random blog post about booze and math

2009-09-07T13:09:00.005-04:00

Preface - I am horrible at math. However doing mental calculations for no good reason I find endlessly entertaining.

From an Ars Technica article:
What really impressed me about the study, however, were the hard numbers the authors were able to put on the phenomenon: "A multivariable model revealed that a 10-cent increase in cost per gram of ethanol at on-premise establishments was associated with a 30% reduction in the risk of exiting an establishment intoxicated." I realize that college students are perpetually broke, but I certainly wouldn't have expected a dime to make that much difference."

A bottle of crappy beer is around 5% alcohol. One fluid ounce of water roughly equals one dry ounce, so for beer we can equivocate them.*

So that means there are .6 dry ounces of ethanol in a 12 ounce beer, which equals 17 grams.

At ten cents per ounce, that's an increase of nearly two dollars. So in other words - you make a 3$ beer and make it a 5$ beer, or if you assume it takes 5 beers to get someone drunk, 15$ versus 25$.

Here is where I should point out that this study came from the University of Florida and was no doubt conducted in Gainesville, where an across-the-board 60% increase in the price of beer would cause riots.

I'm pretty sure the author was aware of everything I just stated but still decided to feign shock to "punch up a story". I can't stand it when people do this.

* Beer is mostly water with some flavoring and ethanol (5% of the latter, as mentioned). Ethanol is less dense than water so I can't make this equivalency with, say, a shot of whiskey.

The weird things I think about

2009-07-30T19:48:00.002-04:00

Apparently in the early 1990's there was a rumor that Lego would start including minifigs of homeless people in their playsets in an attempt to make them more "relevant" and children "more aware". When asked about this rumor, a company representative said that "Only happy smiling people live in Legoland".

That seems to be irrelevant - I've seen happy smiling homeless people, and while they're doubtless delusional or in their own world, their feelings seem to be genuine. It's entirely possible they are in fact already IN Legoland, if only in their head.

Anyway, it's good to see we've moved past this culturally, as there really are so few "city" lego playsets now and infinite "pirates" and "space" and "indiana jones and the awful movie tie-in" playsets. I guess you could have a homeless astronaut or a homeless pirate though.

augh!!!

2009-06-27T21:58:00.005-04:00

My mac is quickly becoming unusable. It started with lines on the screen which have now branched out into the big fat bar of white you see in the picture above. Reports online generally state that a) it always happens after the warranty expires and b) it costs way too much to fix.

In retrospect, I have no one to blame but myself: my old imac (333 mhz, green) had a logic board failure that also cost more to fix than the cost of a new computer. My last laptop, the last of the TiBooks, had a hinge bust, the PC card slot fail, and currently has several busted keys. This new failure is not surprising but has still come much earlier than I expected considering I have only had this computer about two and a half years.

I believe the "apple tax" to be a myth, and the level of performance you buy with an Apple equals what you will get out of a PC of the same cost. However that doesn't take into account the fact that it is nearly impossible to find ANY product that has all of the following attributes: aesthetics, performance, and longevity. 1 and 2 Apple has in spades, but the third they have obviously lacked time and time again and refused to own up for their design failures and issue recalls or offer free repairs. The common answer to this is to purchase Applecare, which to be honest, IS the true Apple tax.

My next mac will be a mac mini or possibly a cracked netbook. Either will be cheap enough to be disposable in the event Apple's (or MSI's) shoddiness rears it's ugly head. This of course assumes I won't be sucked in by some new whizbang bit of user interface design (because honestly, multitouch trackpads are mesmerizing)

Most of the anger behind this rant may die down on Monday once I can visit an Apple Store and get an actual estimate for the cost of the repair. It will no doubt be far more than the cost of an external monitor, but I want to go anyway just for curiosity's sake.

"Miami Midsummer" Mix CD Playlist

2009-06-12T10:58:00.000-04:00

1. Tom Waits - Rains on Me
2. Ann Peebles - I Can't Stand the Rain
3. The Cascades - Rhythm of the Rain
4. The Clientele - Rain
5. The Shannons - Mister Sunshine Man
6. Bud and Kathy - Hang it Out To Dry
7. The Ultra Mates - Pitter Patter
8. Cougars - I Wish it would Rain
9. The Beta Band - Dry the Rain
10. Tommy Guerrero - It's Raining Again
11. Lightning Bolt - Wonderful Rainbow
12. Thom Yorke - And It Rained All Night
13. Hood - Still Rain Fell
14. Bright Eyes w/ Britt Daniel - Spent on Rainy Days
15. Superchunk - Rainy Streets
16. Neko Case - Buckets of Rain (Bob Dylan cover)
17. Bob Dylan - Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35
18. Yoko Kanno - Dreams in a Pie
19. 800 Cherries - Rainy Poppy Field
20. Stars - The Aspidistra Flies
21. Tom Waits - Rain Dogs
22. Ella Fitzgerald and the Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall

are we sensing a theme here?

on dating

2009-05-20T14:59:00.001-04:00

Ximena: Dating is like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. You have to keep trying until you find the one that's just right
John: ... and then they don't think you're "just right" and you die alone.
Ximena: ... or you get eaten by bears.

2009-05-15T14:31:00.002-04:00

talking about what's IMPORTANT here people

2009-05-14T20:58:00.003-04:00

So while everyone flips out about what our current governor Charlie Crist is doing next, I reassure myself with one simple fact:

There is a chance that Charles Bronson will be our next governor.

Politics aside, this would be kind of awesome.

ok real post coming this week, I promise

How to waste a day online - the Library of Congress Flickr Page

2009-04-26T18:51:00.001-04:00

Mike Evans, a welder, at the rip tracks at Proviso yard of the C & NW RR, Chicago, Ill. (LOC)
Originally uploaded by The Library of Congress

Too amazing for words. So much history, so much amazing photography.

an open letter to my Hasidic stepbrother

2009-04-01T21:32:00.000-04:00

Dear Jon -

I recently made up a new rule: you cannot be my facebook friend if you've reproduced. This was done to counteract the sudden rush of friend requests from people I graduated highschool with who are suddenly gushing about having their first kids. Most of these people, coincidentally, were also more popular than I was and drank/smoke/whatever before anyone else did back in the day.

This new rule had 2 unintended consequences - it meant that I couldn't be friends with many people over the age of 40 (which, frankly, is convenient as I didn't really want to be FB friends with my friend's mom or my superior at work anyway) but it also meant that I could not be friends with you, you who are one year younger than I am yet just had your fourth kid.

I considered briefly setting a standard (if you're under 30 but have more than 1 kid - acceptable) but there was no underlying logic to this that would have made sense. It would have been "arbitrary and capricious," to use an agency law phrase. I feel it necessary to set specific standards though as this will not be the last time I have this problem, so the most convenient exceptions to this rule are as follows -

1. Family are exempted from this rule (conveniently, you've been full-fledged family for about 3 weeks since our parents got married. Hooray!)
2. This rule shall stay into effect until such time as I lose my mind and choose to reproduce or such time as Facebook becomes as outdated and passé as Friendster (because while we're setting standards, might as well do so for the long haul)

With that out of the way, warmest congratulations!!!
Sincerely,
Your Loving Stepbrother

Band cover meme

2009-02-23T12:00:00.001-05:00

Band name was a city in Turkey, quote was from Eisenhower, photo from here.

Meme here, brought to my attention by Alesh.

I imagine this meme will create a whole lot of angry flickr photographers.

tea

2009-01-21T11:06:00.002-05:00

I like it when full circles take that last second left or right jut and become spirals.

Occasional tea drinker to heavy coffee drinker to insomniac to regular tea drinker. Doing donuts in the parking lot with a travel mug in my hand.

So: Tea.

Were wars ever fought or started over coffee? You'd think they were, considering what happens to people if they don't get it. Perhaps they were on an incredibly small scale, and between management and accounting. I imagine they were no less violent though.

Anyway, this isn't about coffee. This is about it's milder sibling, tea, and our love affair. South Florida has never been a place that loans itself to hot beverages, and it wasn't until senior year of college when caffeine went from luxury to necessity that I began drinking it. It then went from necessity to curse during my first year of law school when I became a die hard insomniac due in part to my three cup a day habit.

I managed to ween myself off and switch to tea by brewing a weeks worth of decaf and having an iced cup of decaf every morning in conjunction with some relatively strong tea.* I haven't looked back but for during the more exhausting work weeks I've had. Coffee is better as a weapon of last resort against exhaustion, drank before a night out or during an especially tiring day at work. Also, there's relatively little finesse in coffee making. Sure you can argue about what esoteric device you put it in or the (shudder) terroir**, but little of that has anything to do with things you do in a kitchen and more to do with things you do in a lab.

I have a jar of dried orange peels, cardamom, and ginger that I can throw one of each or all three in with my loose tea. I can steep the tea in milk instead of water. I can choose from an endless number of varieties of tea or tisane. I can brew the stems of the plant instead of the leaves, or the buds, or I can have the leaves wholly dried, blanched, or barely dried. In order, I just described stick, white, black, oolong, and green teas.

All that AND I can sleep at night. Color me a happy camper.

* 1 cup of coffee equals between two and five cups of tea caffeine wise, but for whatever reason drinking 3 cups of tea ≠ the buzz from 1 cup of coffee. I'm awake, sure, but the hairs on the back of my neck aren't standing up.
** Terroir is silly. There, I said it.

Zzz

2008-12-14T23:59:00.003-05:00

So I got the post-basel illness. I'm not sure what it is exactly but seemingly everyone who went to Basel-related events last week came down with a cold. I don't know if it was proportional to how hard you partied during the events or what, but even though I went out until 1 on two nights but otherwise didn't do anything crazy, I managed to get laid low with this.

It's not really even a cold though either, there are no symptoms except exhaustion and a sick feeling. I was oddly nauseous a couple of days but that was about it.

Anyway, all this is to say I wanted to write more here last week but you'll have to settle for a new banner up top. So there.

art blarrghhsssel

2008-12-03T15:52:00.001-05:00

Art Basel is smoke. There are a hundred things happening but no one really knows anything about them until they leave for them 5 minutes previous.

I don't have a close knit group of art or club kids, or at least close enough that they'd drag me out. Word of mouth doesn't come to me the way it used to. That's fine. I'll go see some art at the convention center and Scope, find some random people to do it with at a random time, and enjoy myself. I'm just not super excited and not really planning on gallery hopping or drinking too much.

Maybe I'm getting old.

I do think I'll be seeing Yelle though. A free excuse to head to the Beach on a Wednesday night is a-ok by me.

p.s. I think I might try metroing to Venetian Causeway, riding my bike across, then riding all the way to South Miami
p.p.s. Someone asked if I was going to see The Sounds tonight and I briefly wondered where they were playing for Basel before realizing that they were actually making a tour stop at Revolution. This makes me wonder whether their turnout will be hurt by all the Basel stuff going on, but I highly doubt it given how infrequently people in Broward venture south and vice versa. Oh, and Revolution? You're in Ft. Lauderdale. Stop claiming you're in Miami. You aren't even in the same damn county.

Nathan's birthday

2008-11-26T01:44:00.003-05:00

I spent Monday morning assembling nathan's birthday gift: a bed from Ikea (purchased by Kira and picked up by Liz and myself).

This is mostly a stop motion I took of assembling the bed with some ukulele strumming in the background. Then some footage of trying it out + cupcakes.

Bike Miami November 2008

2008-11-21T11:03:00.001-05:00

Bike Miami

Bikes! Downtown! Madness!

Ok, I'm not the best reporter or blogger. I get inspired rarely and usually the local stuff I do I halfass, namely leaving early or not going to at all. Hence why I am posting this over a week late.

So: Bike Miami. The first three words kind of sum it up, although there wasn't much of the "madness". There was a fair amount of people in spandex, a fair grouping of families, and a few kids on fixies going around in circles. There were a few people on homemade cartbikes and tandems, if that qualifies for "madness".

There was something exotic about being able to ride those streets on a bicycle. Hauling ass up and down the drawbridge was fun, as was cruising Flagler. However a lot of the businesses were closed, and understandably so; we weren't there to buy shoes, "fell of the truck" electronics, or luggage. I suppose one of the goals was to help downtown business, but there wasn't exactly much there to help to begin with (with the exception of Mary Brickell Village, which was hopping, and Bayside. Both probably saw a noticable uptick in patrons)

I came late in the day, after the rally and most of the events (see above "halfass" comment). By most reports though there weren't that many events, which I think was the day's biggest problem.

Also: the area was so large that the 1000 or so people that showed up seemed unimpressive if you stood still. Moving around it was rare to see the same face twice, but if you stood still you just watched a trickle of people zip by.

The mayor now wants to make these events monthly, which is awesome, but future events are not going to be able to rest on novelty and will need some additions to thrive as a regular event.

I'm thinking the two most important changes will be more stuff to do (say Bike Repair workshops or booths and vendors and the like) and tweaking the route so as to have fewer dead ends. Aside from that I'm really looking forward to the next one!

happy almost halloween!

2008-10-23T12:04:00.001-04:00

Got your costume yet? I sure as hell don't.

inspiration

2008-10-18T15:11:00.004-04:00

Things that are starting to get to me:
- Working hard but not getting paid for it
- Competing with hundreds of other cut loose law school grads
- Being uncreative and having inspiration come and dart away like a stray cat
- That sinking feeling you get when you feel like you made the wrong turn onto a highway but won't know if you're going the wrong way until its too late

The above movie doesn't have much to do with anything; it's just a lovely rendition of a lovely song.

mud wrestling tips

2008-10-15T01:25:00.003-04:00

(click for big)

Kira asked I write a submission for a wedding zine she was putting together for her friend Lindsey. I'm not 100% this actually got used, but I thought it funny enough to be worth sharing.

I wound up skipping out on the wedding in favor of a friend's birthday party and sleep. I did however miss some mean mud wrestling apparently.

tuesday

2008-10-15T01:15:00.003-04:00

Maybe I should make a habit of updating on Tuesdays.

I only have two observations today.

First, that I had to go through a lot of my old writing recently and would like to get back into the habit of focused writing. I write a lot, but much of it is off the cuff nonsense I scribble down in cognizance of my poor memory. I want to write something I can be proud of again, possibly here but possibly elsewhere.

Second, I kayaked around Coconut Grove Marina during the full moon tonight with a group of UM students. Checking now, there's a small craft advisory out. I don't know whether that was active while I was on the water, but considering the waves and the severe wind gusts on the trip back, I wouldn't be surprised. The water was gorgeous though, what with the waves and the moon and all, and while the wind blew pretty hard there weren't any whitecaps. As such it was only a concern around one bend of the trip and I was able to surf the tops of waves a bit, something I've never done before. As a friend said, it was just hard enough to be an interesting challenge.

Time for sleep. More soon hopefully.

2008-09-23T15:21:00.002-04:00

Today is a rainy Tuesday on the shallow end of a slow week.

The weekend was nice though, saw a lot of random friends at the Perrotin opening on Saturday, as well as afterwards at Mike's. Went home at two rather than pursuing the debauchery until god knows when at white room/vagabond/wherever. The next day I helped out on the kayaks at Community Bay Day at Shake a Leg. I must be making some progress at getting in shape as I wasn't sore the next day despite kayaking to and from the island 3 times.

But most importantly, someone directed me to this over the weekend:

I'm glad we shared this moment together, dear internet person.

Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat

2008-09-19T13:56:00.002-04:00

Today we'll be discussing wheat beer, so pull out a number 2 pencil, your composition books, and a pint glass and we'll get started.

Wikipedia has an incredibly lengthy discussion of wheat beer that, in the end, boils down to "using a significant proportion of wheat in the brewing process". Thanks, I guess?

Anyway, wheat beers are usually light in flavor, and in turn lend themselves easily to including additional flavors. Thus you can have all sorts of flavored beers, including raspberry, apricot, blueberry, and so on.

I've often felt that Blue Moon was a good introductory beer for the above reason, namely that it has a host of other flavors that don't taste too beer-y (if that makes any sense). However I recently had a friend express her disgust for Blue Moon based exactly on that: it doesn't taste like beer, it tastes like the floor of grandma's spice cabinet.

Said friend however said she loved Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat. This was the third person who had said this to me and thus figure it was time I gave it a try.

I couldn't tell at first if the beer was named Leinenkugels or Leinenhugels. The top hit for Googling Leinenhugels is a one-sentence negative review on Livejournal (of all places). Googling Leinenkugels (with or without a possessive apostrophe) set me straight. Leinenkugel's Brewery is now owned by Miller Brewing, and that they only began brewing Sunset Wheat about two years ago and more recently introduced a wheat beer/lemonade mix, the latter of which was the subject of the aforementioned (and probably well deserved) negative review.

The above should have been obvious to me: you do NOT see a beer on every shelf of every grocery without there being a big brewery behind it, and I have been seeing this stuff everywhere. They even had a booth set up at the last Wynwood Art Walk I made it out to, where they doled out warm 1/3 bottle portions in tiny plastic cups. No impression was made on me that evening, not sure why.

The presence of Blue Moon at your local Winn Dixie is attributable to its ownership as well, as Blue Moon is brewed by Coors. If Coors attempted to market Blue Moon under its own name, disaster would no doubt ensue. But this brings up an interesting question though: Does it matter who owns the brewery? While Miller bought the Leinenkugel brewery in 1988, the family still manages and runs it. Contrarily, Blue Moon has always been owned and brewed by Coors.

Aside from both being owned by major breweries, the beers share a lot in common: both are wheats brewed with coriander and share many similar characteristics. Blue Moon however is unfiltered and is additionally spiced with orange peel.

How do the taste? Well, to be honest, I don't like Blue Moon for the exact same reason my non-beer drinking friend doesn't. She didn't like it because it was too weird tasting, and I think it tastes too much like you're sucking on a flower. This is possibly due to it being unfiltered, but this would only add to the taste not remove anything from it, and another problem is that Blue Moon feels like it's lacking something. However Sunset Wheat was surprisingly good and full flavored. I say "full flavored" because a lot of beers people call "refreshing" are so light on the palate that I wonder why I wasted my time and belly space. Sunset Wheat somehow manages to be refreshing yet flavorful and complex without resorting to adding anything beyond coriander.

So in short, maybe it does matter who made your beer. It's obvious these two are big breweries' attempts at competing for the same market segment, right down to Leinenkugel/Miller using the sun in lieu of the moon in the name. Blue Moon obviously has the leg up at present, but I'm willing to bet that if Miller pushes it hard enough, Sunset Wheat could put a serious dent in the light-beer-but-not-quite market.

Class dismissed.

pool parties, kickball, and growing up

2008-09-10T15:57:00.001-04:00

Last weekend I was invited by a friend of mine to attend a pool party on Key Biscayne. Then, Monday night I finally made it to a kickball game that a friend organized but is played by people I hardly know.

I was hesitant about going to both. Miami has driven it into my head that people can't have fun without being sketchy in some way or another, specifically that even the most pedestrian activity needs to have the introduction of drugs or be filled to the gills with people you wouldn't trust to leave alone in any room your house.

This is kind of a double edged sword: it's not JUST that people have a tendency to be sketchy down here, but also that I myself have a tendency to be neurotic in unfamiliar situations. I'm the one that wanders around parties cleaning up or making sure people aren't smoking in the house, even and especially if it isn't my party. I'm not always like this, but the sketchier the party is and the less familiar I am with my surroundings, the more likely I will just fade into the background and wander around emptying ashtrays.

None of that occurred at either of these events. I found myself hanging out with two mature and interesting groups of people that were very friendly, welcoming, and frankly nicer than I've come to expect.

At first I thought that the people I associate with had grown up. Then I quickly realized we both had: I was acting more relaxed when out of my element, and these people were better at keeping things chill and non-sketchy than the people I knew when I was 22.

Part of this can also be chalked up to something the thrower of the pool party/birthday girl said to me on Saturday. I had never met her before and she only knew me tangentially through a friend, but she instantly pegged me as a pessimist. Actually, specifically she said "you're always assuming the worst about yourself". It didn't shock me that she said that because it was true, but it did shock me that someone I met nearly 20 seconds ago had my number so quickly.

So I'm trying to turn over a new leaf of sorts. Lets see how that goes. Tomorrow I'm leaving to visit Washington, D.C. and more likely more introspection to come.

Advice on Moving From Miami to San Francisco Courtesy of a Person Who's Never Been Further West Than Colorado

2008-09-09T16:10:00.002-04:00

If the sun appears to be setting in the wrong place relative to the ocean, do not be alarmed. This is just evidence that a hole has opened in the fabric of reality and that you may need to make peace with your higher power in anticipation of apocalypse. If the sun appears to be rising in the wrong place, it is just an optical illusion.

A feeling of strangeness may overcome you on the streets of San Francisco. This attributable to the continual fear of vehicular homicide slowly leaving your person. It will pass and soon be replaced by a fear of hobos and trolley-related homicide, or trollicide as it is more commonly known.

San Francisco, unlike many other locales, has a fair amount of humidity year round. Thus you can live your life without fear of your skin flaking and falling off, dandruff becoming omnipresent, and otherwise sleeping in a tub of vaseline every evening, unless you are so inclined for reasons not covered in this guide.

While San Francisco, colloquially known as San Fran, Frisco, or Siffran™ (ask your doctor), is temperately colder than its location in California would have the layman believe, it is known to occasionally rise above 60 degrees, especially and frequently as a direct result of the presence of trashcan fires littering the city's many vagabond encampments.

In the event that the high price of living leads to destitution, the following food substitutes are reportedly quite popular in San Fran:
- sterno
- rice-a-roni (ding ding!)
- locally produced organic wood
- seagulls

Please heed these friendly reminders and by all means enjoy your stay! Er ... relocation! Whatever!
Sincerely,
Someone Who Has Never Been To San Francisco

two, insert cliche about counting, two

2008-09-08T16:28:00.004-04:00

Two, count 'em, two people commenting that I never post in two, count 'em also whydontcha, two days!
I will counter these comments with two, tired of this yet, two lists!

First, last week, I:
- Worked my last day at my job
- Assumed (wrongly) that this week would be shot to hell by Ike one way or another
- Got a parking ticket for not having paid for parking at the metrorail garage, despite having a receipt in my pocket that conclusively proves I paid
- Had a fun little bureaucratic runaround as a result of the aforementioned ticket
- Ran to the courthouse no fewer than three times in one day, one time literally running
- Shook off the last vestiges of a summer cold only to have it make a brief reappearance after going out too much on the weekend
- Rode a long long way on my bike three times, on one trip proceeding to crash into the sidewalk while avoiding a jogger
- Learning that in real life, like in cartoons, shoes really do fly off when you run into something
- Went out too much on the weekend to shake off the odd feeling that comes when you leave a job knowing there are things left unfinished

And second, a compilation of twitter posts from my last day at work. They get interesting eventually, I promise.
• tea cup to tea goblet to tea and coffee to decaf coffee to coffee coffee back to goblets of tea again: my mornings have come full circle. 08:08 AM September 05, 2008 from web
• appropriate as today is my last day at this job 08:08 AM September 05, 2008 from web
• The passengers on this meyrorail platform get more depressing as you walk away from the escalator (fun typo kept intentionally) 08:35 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• On the one hand there's no rain, on the other Miami looks like Seattle. I guess Hanna did bring us something. 08:36 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• I also guess I'm liveblogging my last day at this job? We'll see how long THAT lasts 08:37 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• There is a well dressed middle age Hispanic woman playing games on a nintendo DS in a case I'd easily mistake for a fancy wallet. 08:39 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• The streets are wet; lacking sun they lack reflections. Rain used to make Tally seem sad but alive, but Miami is largely indifferent 08:41 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• The gray feels like a blanket of static across the city, powering the palm fronds to gently move the wind like a cheap deskfan 08:47 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• There's a hum. I'm waiting for it to escalate to a buzz, one that only the birds can hear as they fly away in advance of Ike 08:49 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• Downtown Miami always reminds me of a clean version of the future version of Detroit in Robocop. Maybe it's just the fonts. 09:03 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• Just protested a parking ticket. Just another part of this ridiculous week. 09:11 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• Just is right. Just is a word I'm using too much. Just like "listen lady I just need four fives for the courthouse copy machine" 09:13 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• The bouganvilleas outside the courthouse don't help to distract from the chain link on the steps. 09:31 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• A white homeless man on the street had two irregular dreds that were squashed flat into wierd beaver tails. I think he sensed me staring 09:32 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• Printing your firm's name and phone number on the bottom of each page of a court filing = crass 10:09 AM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• http://twitpic.com/aaw8 Heading to the office finally. 7 hours. 10:14 AM September 05, 2008 from TwitPic
• i don't know who Chayanne is, I don't know why he's Gabriel, I don't know why he's on every bus, I do know he needs a shower 10:21 AM September 05, 2008 from web
• Feels odd having casual Friday be your last day 11:24 AM September 05, 2008 from web
• The development next to my office looks like 40% parking garage. Downtown will never be walkable 01:44 PM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• T minus 15 til unemployment. Expecting streamers, cabaret girls, and Ed Mcmahon. 04:44 PM September 05, 2008 from web
• Poof. 05:03 PM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator
• Between stress and chicken kitchen today I've had a stomach ache. The "what now" feeling is not helping. 05:14 PM September 05, 2008 from web
• Too busy staring at the phone to look the window and see how nice the day turned out to be 05:24 PM September 05, 2008 from Twittelator

The sun was beautiful that evening, and it served as an introduction to an awesome if exhausting weekend that involved such things as a) drinking in pools b) drinking in bars and c) sleep. I'll be making a long put off trip to D.C. this coming weekend to see some old friends and will be spending the intervening days trying to figure things out. I'm more excited about both than I'm probably letting on.

desk drawers

2008-09-07T18:46:00.003-04:00

things you don't bother cleaning from an office drawer when you leave your job
 - condiment packets of all shapes, colors, and questionable histories 
- menus for places you told yourself you'd stop ordering from  and will probably never order from again
- helpful instructions on things it took you a month to figure out but will be completely ignored by your replacement who will then spend another month figuring whatever it was out.  
- bag of starlight mints that was in the drawer when you started working
 - ugly coffee mug that you were tired of staring at in your cupboard so now you stare at on your desk
- office supplies you absolutely needed for some project but never got reimbursed for so technically they're yours but you have no need for them

labor day biking

2008-09-01T22:46:00.002-04:00

Observations on a 13 mile bikeride from my home in South Miami to Rickenbacker Causeway via Coconut Grove and the University of Miami campus:

It was surprisingly hot and sunny giving the crazy stuff coming across the Atlantic.

I almost ran into two UM students riding those hideous green beach cruisers they've been selling to students. The sudden influx of 18 year olds into my neighborhood, the metrorail stations I use, and my local Target has me feeling old.

My old neighborhood (namely, South Grove) was unremarkable and Downtown Coconut Grove was sedate for a holiday. Lots of motorcycles though. I went to San Loco last night with a few friends and need to mention that there's nothing like a holiday weekend at the absolute lowest point of tourist season in Miami to bring the local weirdoes out. I was surprised the same wasn't true of the Grove.

A woman on was sitting alone on a bench in a random little vestibule they built into the wall of one of the fancier developments directly on Main Highway. Specifically, here:

She was wearing a sun dress and sunglasses and eating pieces of a honeydew with a fork. I caught only the briefest glimpse of her as I rode by, just long enough for her to glance at me while a piece finished the journey from container to mouth. I have no idea why she picked this particular spot considering Kennedy Park is less than a block away.

Unlike downtown Grove, Kennedy Park was hopping. There was a somewhat sad looking girl carrying an expensive camera setup around the park. I can't see how she could have been taking good pictures if she was so unhappy to be there, but there was a good chance I was misreading "fear of conflict with overzealous parents" as "woe is me".

I've never ridden underneath Rickenbacker before; there were 4 people fishing who seemed a little spooked by my presence. A bait fish sat on gutted on the wall, baking in the late afternoon sun and making me glad I elected to briefly be a mouth breather.

I had the choice between riding home, riding across Rickenbacker to Key Biscayne, or heading North and then across the Venetian Causeway to Miami Beach. After checking the slow leak in my back tire I chickened out and took the short route home.

I haven't ridden in at least two weeks and I haven't ridden regularly since March. I really want to change this.

brunnnnccchh

2008-09-01T22:03:00.003-04:00

From 1 PM until 1 AM, the brunch that would not end.

I have some awesome friends.

Dogfish (redacted) Head

2008-08-18T18:48:00.003-04:00

Dogfish Head.

Dog
Fish
Heeaaaddd.

I have never drank any beer from this brewery. Not when it's been a guest brew at a bar I like, not when it's been offered to me at a party, not when it's been sitting there, longingly, on the shelf at some Winn Dixie where the distributor decided to get creative.

The reason is simple: in the wine world, you have to give your wine an interesting name or a funny label to get noticed. There are hundreds of bottles of wine on any shelf at any grocery. When you're selling 15$ wine to an unsophisticated audience, you need to stand out.

Beer is different. There's a lot less of it on the shelf for one thing, and for another you have a host of not just varieties but ingredients. As such you don't need to sell on a name or a label but can appeal to people who want not just a beer but one spiced with "coriander and orange peel".

As such I tend to avoid beers that try to sell on gimmick or funny naming, interesting ingredients notwithstanding.

So: Dogfish Head.

I don't care if there's a good reason. I don't care if there's a funny story. All I have to do is look at the packaging and say "that is not something I want to drink" and move on. All it took was a motto as lame as "off centered beer for off centered people" and I'm willing to call it a day on your product.

Why so much hate? Because craft beer people are by nature oddballs. Specifically marketing your beer the way Dogfish Head has is pushing it. I'm already buying beer in corked bottles that have smiling monks printed on the side: You don't need to TELL me I'm weird for doing this.

So last week I decided to put a little bit of this behind me and pick up a sixpack. This was after seeing a small portion of a Discovery Channel program on brewing beer that featured the founder of Dogfish Head brewery, Sam Calgione.

May I take a moment to point out the following:
- Dogfish Head brewery is located in Rehoboth Beach Delaware, a place that even the rare man who has a passing knowledge of Delaware geography (me) has never heard of
- Their website lists a variety of interesting beers I have never, ever seen in a store anywhere and might actually change my opinion of them if I were to try them, but instead have only seen IPA's that have not thoroughly encouraged me to put down 8$ for.
- Sam speaks exactly like someone who would name their company Dogfish Head. No I don't know what that means either.

So I saw Raison D'Etre on the shelf at Whole Foods and decided to give it a go. Raison (a reference to the fact that it is brewed with green raisins) was awarded Brew of the Year in 2000 by Malt Advocate magazine, although I don't particularly care what awards your beer has won as Delirium Tremens touts its medals left and right but is boring as all heck.

Raison is good. Not in a passing way and not in a dismissive way, but I can't say much more about it. I taste mostly (if not entirely) the brown sugar and mahogany flavors touted on the label but none of the raisins. Perhaps the fact that grape juice is so often used as a sweetener substitute in juice blends that are "100% juice" says something about the ability of the grape to loan its flavor to other things. Perhaps I'm a stuck up jerk. Who knows. In short, this beer is a reasonably good brown, my irrational dislike for Dogfish Head* is cooled, I probably won't buy it again.

Next time: I review my favorite beer in the world (so far). If there is a next time. I don't even know if anyone is reading these beer posts.

man it was hard not to juxtapose Dogfish Head everytime I had to mention it. Fishdog Head, Headdog, Fishface Dog ... possibilities are endless ...

2008-08-11T21:28:00.001-04:00

This beer got "Cracklin Rosie" by Neil Diamond in my head for THREE DAYS STRAIGHT. As a result of this (and the suicidal thoughts it in turn created), I thought it only appropriate to write a little about it.

So: Honey Amber Rose. There were warning flags I should have caught up on: the fact that it's called a "malt beverage" on the label, the fact that it reads "MALT BEVERAGE BREWED WITH HONEY AND ROSE HIPS AND HONEY ADDED," the fact that it's made in Melbourne Florida and, most importantly, that it's named something as ridiculous as "Honey Amber Rose".

All things considered it's alright. Just ... alright. The rose hips add a subtle flavor to what would otherwise be an overly sweet beer. Most importantly though is that the beer lacks low notes: rose hips, honey, and that's it. That's all you taste. It's basically a very light beer with some added flavoring that practically evaporates off the tongue. When you burp a few minutes later, you'd swear you'd drank a schlitz.

And that's alright.

I bought this for a potluck dinner I went to Saturday but wound up forgetting it. In retrospect I'm glad I did.

BONUS: LOOK AT THIS HAIR

expanded tweets

2008-07-26T19:25:00.000-04:00

Twitter is frustrating: it lets me get random thoughts out quickly but limits me to about a sentence and a half. This is of course the point and limitations oftentimes can be inspiring, but there were many tweets that were brief to the point of being cryptic lately and that bugged me. So I started writing and thus the below occurred.

It's generally more personal than I wanted to be with this blog but I feel foolish throwing it away now. Enjoy, if you like.

A woman on a bicycle talking with a few homeless guys on the metromover makes me wonder why homeless white women in Miami always have a southern drawls and furthermore whether I've ever actually heard anyone use the phrase "score and get high" and, like, mean it.
09:58 AM July 25, 2008 from Twittelator

I know so much about pre-1950 cinema purely through Bugs Bunny cartoons. They hardly show those anymore on TV, and it makes me wonder whether kids will grow up without knowing who people like Humphrey Bogart, the Three Stooges and Joan Crawford are as a result.
04:45 PM July 23, 2008 from Twittelator

The same old, tough as nails cop who towed my car in the University Shopping Center at least 6 years ago still apparently spends his off-duty hours working there. I want to write something exploring what that says about this community, as for some reason it seems appropriate for Miami that this gun toting hardass basically lives in a parking lot.
08:35 AM July 23, 2008 from TwitPic

Wired has a cover story on Clover this month, the insanely expensive coffeemaker that Starbucks just acquired the maker/manufacturer of. In typical Wired style, the article seems to start with an "wowee zowee!" opening, a hefty amount of background, and a last few paragraphs that seem to come to a damning conclusion that contradicts the rest of the story. In short: the Clover makes good coffee if you put good beans into it, which Starbucks does not have, and as a result the difference is nil and this is all just a wad of hype (that this article largely fed right up until the closing paragraph). What I drew from the story (but was never specifically said) was that a Clover does nothing more than what I can do at home using a french press, but that it allows a barista to make a very good cup of coffee quickly, a necessity in the grab-and-go world of fast food coffee. As a result I could care less about it, because decent coffee isn't something that should be drank out of a travel cup. What I also drew from the story was an intense dislike for the idea of terroir being important for coffeebeans, but that's an entirely different story.
04:26 PM July 19, 2008 from Twittelator

Last weekend I visited Lakeland, then Tallahassee.
A mash of the unfamiliar into the familiar, neither that different from one another.
I visited an old friend in Lakeland who just got happily divorced. She spent much of the trip trying to talk me into moving there, which I admit was tempting in the same odd way moving to Tallahassee again was tempting for a while. Tallahassee then quickly taught me why both are kind of a bad idea, as there wasn't anything I particularly wanted to DO while I was in Tally. All the things I did while I lived there were done not out of any real excitement but because there wasn't really much else. The same three tolerable bars were there, the same tiny coffeeshop with their mammoth brownies, the same decently priced small places to eat. With the exception of visiting Lakeland and seeing an awesome group of old friends in Tallahassee, there was no sense of adventure about the trip. This was echoed in the sentiments of all my friends about how much longer they have in Tally, which is to say, not much longer at all.
All this isn't to say that I need an "exciting" place to live, as honestly I don't know how long I'm planning on staying in Miami. But it is to say that I think I need a little more than a college town or a tiny central Florida burg, at least right now. Who knows though: I already miss my tiny coffee place up there.
10:44 AM July 17, 2008 from Twittelator

banana bread

2008-07-08T22:36:00.000-04:00

What does one do with 5 lbs of baby bananas from the backyard?

The problem is not an easy one: they're ripe for 4 days tops before they go bad.

A while back I spent an afternoon peeling and tossing bananas into plastic bags to freeze. I've been whittling away at these and making about two loaves of banana bread a week.

I had a friend tell me recently that she was looking for a "killer" banana bread recipe. The truth is that no recipe is perfect, and even if it was, what the hell is the fun in that? What's interesting is experimenting and making something your own. Anyone can spend an hour in a kitchen, but I want to spend an hour and walk out with something that might make my grandmother proud, and not just because I managed not to destroy the kitchen.

I use the Cooking for Engineer's recipe as a start.

So far I've tried:
- Replacing all the ingredients with healthy things, i.e. molasses, unblanched almonds, and whole wheat flour, in an attempt to make breakfast bread. This worked well assuming I didn't overdo the molasses (all molasses -> sticky bread). Note though that molasses, unlike sugar, actually has things in it that are good for you (namely, potassium and iron).
- Using lychees instead of bananas (failure, but I think mostly because I lacked enough lychees and decided at the last second to cut the added sugar by a third.)
- Adding powdered ginger and cinnamon to the bread (amazing success)
- Using different kinds of nuts (pistachios = amazing, hazelnuts = boring)

Foreground is failure lychee bread, background is relatively good banana bread. I forgot to add cinnamon and ginger to the batter until I had already poured it into the pan, so I added it on top as a crust. Still quite good, but I've made (and will make) better!

no

2008-07-03T18:03:00.000-04:00

There will be people there for humor value, there will be people there with fond memories of Hotwheels. Somewhere there will even be people who still regularly listen to Uncle Luke non-ironiclly, who don't immediately say "man, that's so Miami" between songs or while the cassette in their Tercel's stock audio system changes sides.

There will be people there because it's funny, because it's a spectacle, because it's nostalgic, and just because it's awesome. But you know who won't be there? Me. Why? Because I too vividly remember getting my ass kicked in 6th grade for listening to Pearl Jam. Also, I'm completely exhausted.

Wynwood Art Walk, escapes to Fort Myers

2008-06-28T10:48:00.000-04:00

So what's new and exciting? Not a whole lot, to be honest. But a few things worth relating:

Despite being back in Miami for 7 months (jeez, already?) and despite all the trips I've made back down here, I had never been to a Wynwood Art Walk. It wasn't that I didn't think it would be a fun time or that I disliked art, but more the fact that I lacked the appropriate group of people to go with. Most of my acquaintances who would do such a thing are the "see randomly" type of people. The kind of people who I would run into at such a thing but not really wander with.

Given time and a little effort though, acquaintances crystallize into friendships. Kind of like baking a pie, only with other people, and really having nothing to do with crystals at all, unless you pie is code for meth, in which case you will definitely cement friendships.

... where the holy hell was I going with this?

Oh yeah: art. Yay art! Long story short: I went to the last Art Walk and really enjoyed myself. I have no serious observations to make, except that my tourguide Liz had an expert plan for the entire evening, starting out early in the Design District where the crowds were older and the free booze better before heading south and seeing people our age and art we actually cared about.

I meant to bring my camera but alas did not. Instead though I will share a camouflaged photo of Nathan taken immediately after parking:

Liz took about a thousand pictures (hint) that she has not (hint hint) shared (hint wink nod nudge hint wonk) anywhere (noodge).

Last weekend was a neverending pool party: Friday night actual party, then two days floating in Fort Myers with Andres:

and Kira:

I think I am making a solemn pact to go to either Steak 'n Shake or Waffle House whenever I drive out of Dade County.

On Sunday we went to the flea market, and I will leave it to you which of my three purchases was best:

A. 10$

B. 12$

C. 100$

Me? I think they're all pretty damn awesome.

Which brings you up to date. As for this weekend, it will be the one of sitting still. With the exception of another pool party tomorrow. And Oly playing at MOCA in 3 hours. And a birthday tonight. Jeez, can't a man sleep?

mawwidge ... mawwidge is what bwings us together tewday

2008-05-26T15:45:00.000-04:00

I've tried about a hundred different ways to approach writing about this, but it was such a whirlwind 4 days that it's hard to even put thoughts together about it. Suffice to say: my best friend got married and I was the one fortunate to perform the ceremony. Out of the experience, he got the woman of his dreams while I got a red guayabera. Mine was a consolation prize, but I'm totally cool with that.

The wedding itself was exactly as ridiculous as you would expect a union of a largely Danish family and an entirely Cuban family to be. Which is to say: very, very ridiculous. Deering Estate was gorgeous and perfect for a wedding of this smallish size.

I had many rejected ideas for the ceremony, most involving turning it into the emergency procedures presentation you get from the stewardesses at the start of every flight.

This is what I actually read:

Wilkkomen, buenas tardes, howdy, hello, hi.

We are joined here today for a very special occasion, not merely for the act of joining two souls in the most sacred way conceivable, but for the communal act of witnessing and taking stock in the people these two have touched and been touched by in their journey to this point. For this is not an event that happens every day and the people the people joined here by the ocean will likely never be collected together in one place again. Their being here is a testament to the love these two share and the love that connects us all.

Mauricio & Ellise, the importance of today cannot be understated. For today we celebrate your love for one another. Language lacks superlatives necessary to address this day, your wedding day.

For those of you who are unaware, I introduced these two 7 years ago, somewhere on the campus at the University of Miami just a few miles from here. At the time I saw two funny, somewhat cynical, and undeniably crazy people whom I was privileged to call friends. At the time I had no idea of the love that would blossom between them. Between now and then other people and other locales have wandered through their lives but they never lost touch with one another. Something special was there, something that like most cherished things grew, until one point someone started talking moving and marriage and their future together, and well it's all just been downhill from there, much to at least my delight. May the happiness you have brought myself and others only be returned to you tenfold in your life together.

Short and sweet. The remainder was business about rings and what not. It went off surprisingly well considering I never rehearsed it with them and wrote the majority of it the day previous. I knew the high school theater experience would pay off somehow someday.

The rest of the weekend was an exhausted drunken blur, which is to be expected and probably also sums up the preceding two days as well.

m83: saturdays=youth

2008-04-25T10:05:00.000-04:00

Recommended if you like: John Hughes movie soundtracks
Avoid if you dislike: John Hughes movie dialogue.

So you want to make your own fruity booze

2008-04-12T11:55:00.000-04:00

Birthday Sangria.

Chop up some fruit. Put it in a bottle of cheap wine. Come back in a day. Add a little something sweet, preferably honey or molasses. Not too much sweet, just a touch. Melt it in the microwave first so it'll mix better with the cold sangria.

Use bruised or overripe fruit. Farmers' markets are good for both. Take the skin off of fruit where you wouldn't eat it (mango, citrus) but leave it on fruits where you would (pear, apple)

In decreasing order of quantity:
White: 3 kinds of pear, mango, a nectarine, a tangerine, strawberries, 2 key limes
Red: plums, nectarines, blackberries, a red pear, strawberries, a key lime

Spiced Vodka:

Get mulling spices. Place in vodka. Come back in a week. Leave in the sun for a couple of hours if you want to speed it up a bit.

This jar doesn't have all the ingredients I actually wanted.
An ideal set of spices:
Dried orange peel, cloves, whole cardamom, ginger, whole vanilla bean, star anise, cinnamon stick.

Of those, this jar only has cloves, orange peel, and cardamom. I will discuss how I made dried orange peel momentarily. The photo also doesn't represent the final color: it turned a deep brown after about a day or so.

The end result, when mixed with cola, is not unlike Captain Morgans Spice Rum, only more intense. I'm sure with the full host of spices it would have been better.

Fruit infused vodkas

Alton Brown's technique for making beef jerky (basically: putting beef between two air conditioning filters and sticking it on a box fan for 24 hours) works just as well for making dried fruit.

Chop up some fruit, stick it between air conditioning filters, yadda yadda, add to vodka, come back in a few days. It's best to use mason jars or, as I did here, old peanut butter/jelly jars. Also, if you're going to be drying peels (which when infused release the essential oils within), it's best to use organic fruit as you won't be getting a bottle full of pesticide when you're done.

I made three kinds:
dried orange peel and fresh key lime (right)
dried plum and dried strawberry (left)
dried pear (not pictured, but the dregs were added to the dried strawberry/plum, hence why it's a tad cloudy and lost a little of the beautiful red hue it had acquired)

All are good with Sprite, especially the strawberry/plum.

So there you have it.

commute liveblog

2008-03-27T19:31:00.000-04:00

So I liveblogged my commute today on the Metrobus/Metrorail via twitter. Why? I have no idea, I was 90% asleep the entire time.

Twitter is actually kind of a poor way of doing this as it requires people to a) be actively following your twitterstream and b) read backwards. Also I can't correct typos and the iPhone is a bit of a pain to actually type, especially while in motion.

So with that in mind I decided to reprint it here. The only changes are fixing a few spelling errors, as much as I want to expand on the statements. Enjoy, if you must.

- "My bus" is inaccurate, as it's anyone's with 1.50$ & I ride a different one everyday. Still, I missed it.
- It came late; I felt a dime slip from my fingers into the grass as I got on, leaving me short for a transfer
- Two old men are arguing in Spanish, their voices cartoonishly raspy. The bus smells like metro transit.
- Glints in the safety glass look like snowflakes when the sun hits them. One of the old men is wearing grey wranglers
- As I get off I realize I had a nickel but not a dime in the Crown Royal bag I keep my tokens in. So close. I use another token.
- There's construction on a parking lot at UM for the umpteenth time and the tractor sounds like slate being dragged across diamondplate
- Metrorail platforms are the dullest place on earth. I am criminally early and feel a little ill.
- Seriously there is something wrong with that machine that WD40 will not fix, shut it off already!
- Through the trees i can see "rock power" written on the orange beast's neck. I'd argue the power is waning.
- Stand back from the platform edge
- 10 years ago I used to ride the metro to a summer program at Mast. Relieving, somehow, that it smells the same
- More than 10; I'm twice as old now as I was then. Odd to think about. Math makes easy comparisons.
- New cars new buildings but the same old streets move past
- Doppelgänger leaning against the plexiglass directly across from me in the right doorway. Differences: iPod nano, wedding band, hairline
- Past the ironically neighbored jenny craig / dunkin donuts on Dixie. Stomach still hurts.
- Cars fall behind, pass, catch up. They should just throw a rope to the train and hitch a ride, although it'd decapitate the trees
- Sad planetarium.
- Dip to ground level and come back up into rickell. Trees at eyelevel disorienting. Then shadow.
- Is it nice to live in a condo that stares straight into a Metrorail platform? I can't imagine so
- When I left last Friday there were chickens scratching the dirt outside the station. None today.
- The southbound train arrives just as I'm leaving. Briefly I ponder getting on it. Head isn't here right now.
- I hear paper being torn above my head ad I walk. Or possibly it's masking tape.
- Shadows made of concrete. Token trees. The streets are filled with sand.
- Pain turns into hunger. A brick oven pizza place is getting a pickup truck full of wood delivered
- Fake plants interposed with real ones. Bricks. A dead oak in a planter box.
- Out of Brickell's answer to Cocowalk and onto 8th st (notable feature: a BK)
- The condos line up like Spartans. A marching skyline.
- Discarded food, recognizable and unrecognizable, always line this underdeveloped section of 8th
- Just missed an elevator going up. Sensing a theme.
- Work sweet work. This ends my incredibly boring liveblog.

Ok so maybe it wasn't that boring, but subject-wise it certainly wasn't the most exciting thing to issue moment-to-moment updates about.

edit: Alesh from Critical Miami was following me on Twitter for about a day before (I presume) the above flood of twits drove him off? I find this funny somehow.

edit2: Yay! Added back!

I'll have an Old Chub

2008-03-27T19:03:00.001-04:00

Whenever I get a hankering for something that tastes like licking the sweaty kilt of a proud Scottish highlander, I reach for a tall cool can of Old Chub.
http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=922445473198028434&postID=7428961404144056321

Mmm. Old Chub ...
(Suggested slogans to immediately follow:)
- That's me!
- Cures what ails ya! ... and probably creates a few other problems while it's at it
- Chub means fish ... we think. So we called our beer "Old fish"
- Goes great with haggis
- Black as midnight, cold as your ex wife
- It's also a verb
- (5 full minutes of unintelligible drunken cursing)

In all seriousness though, I love this beer. Titanic had it for a while and it was my sole reason for stopping by. It replaced the aching hole in my heart that the Seasonal Saison had left.

But now, no longer. Thus imagine my delight when I found a sixer of cans at Whole Foods.

And CANS! I can't remember the last time I bought beer in cans, much less tasty (and strong) beer in a can.

In case you were wondering, yes I am something of a beer snob. You know you're a beer snob when suddenly Guinness doesn't have enough taste for you.

Arthur C. Clarke

2008-03-19T00:28:00.000-04:00

Three things mildly irk me:
One, expressions of surprise over the death of elderly and largely inactive celebrities.
Two, shallow discussions of recently deceased celebrities on blogs.
Three, lists of things that annoy a blogger.

While we're at it, let's go ahead and make it two for three.

Arthur C. Clarke was my introduction to science fiction, although not through 2001 or some of his better known books. I read Hammer of God when I was 12, very near to it originally coming out and immediately before picking up William Gibson's Neuromancer. I liked the book but fell more quickly in love with Gibson's gritty dystopia, which for a young man just entering his teen years is unsurprising.

At the time I wasn't aware that Clarke had lived through a time when science fiction grew out of the realm of fantasy and into thought experiment, and that his contributions to the world of science in some ways outweighed those to literature. It wasn't until college that I read Childhood's End and 2001 and realized how thought provoking a well written work of sci fi can be.

I count him among one of the authors who have had the most influence on my life. He will be sorely missed.

Brief theory as to Miami's Art Scene

2008-02-24T03:55:00.001-05:00

Despite attempts to lull people in earlier via free admission and drink specials, South Beach and downtown clubs are open until dawn and typically do not get hopping until at least midnight.

This means that while the world is your oyster at 3 AM, between the hours of 6 and 11 PM there is more or less nothing to do. Sure you can eat or disco nap, but that's not going to take up the 5 hours between ending your day and beginning your night.

This is where art openings come in, as they combine the one-two punch of being the only thing to do pre-clubbing and having free alcohol. Your alternatives are to see a movie or else to go to a bar and kill a couple of hours, and who wants to sit in the dark for 2 hours prior to going drinking and who wants to pay to go drink only to have to sober up enough to drive somewhere else to drink some more?

Granted, the people who go to gallery events to drink free wine and Grolsch (and why is it always swing-topped Grolsch?) before going out to clubs do not buy art. They DO however create the hip atmosphere that makes art buyers comfortable. If Miami were not a party town, Art Basel would be as appealing as an industrial trade show.

Anyway, all this is to say that the surging of Miami's art scene owes something to clubbing, two things I would normally hesitate to associate with one another.

This is coming to mind before I go to bed at 4 in the morning, something unheard of in D.C. or Tallahassee but par for the course on a weekend in Miami. In D.C. I was frustrated by not knowing the right time to leave the house and always wound up having to anxiously watch the clock so as to catch the last metro home. Here it doesn't matter when I leave, but if I try to leave past 10:30 I inevitably feel too worn out to really bother. One of the nicest nights out I've had since getting back to Miami was going to the Boyz of Bazel opening a while back. Being out at an interesting event at 10 when I was still awake was a nice feeling.

I'm sure Miami Nights has a post somewhere to this effect in far fewer words and with much more snark. In the event this is true, please do not show up at my house and beat up my family or give us all atomic wedgies or something.

loving and loathing bicycling in Miami

2008-01-26T12:44:00.000-05:00

Love:
- Ample sidewalks
- Ample side streets to avoid main drags
- Trees, sunshine, shade
- Flatness

Hate:
- Sidewalk-less arteries for which there are no alternatives (Blue Road)
- Lack of bike lanes, or rather, fear of using existing bike lanes due to Miami driver's inability to understand NORMAL lanes
- Drivers who assume that they need not pay attention on side streets
- Drivers who get unnecessarily angry for at having to apply pressure to their brake pedal

I got in my first (and hopefully last) screaming match with a car today. I was crossing a street from the sidewalk at an intersection. In his defense, I was going a little too fast, but the guy (in an SUV, not to play to bike vs. car stereotypes) didn't seem to have skidded to a stop and was just angry at having to slow down when he poked his head out of his window to start cursing at me.

Shouting ensued, he slowed down the car threateningly, at which point I realized that if I pushed this any further and he'd probably try to run me over.

The only reason I'm discussing this is to make sure I don't do it again. At some point between middle school and adulthood I started getting angry with stupid things, rather than smiling and being conciliatory when confronted with someone who is obviously taking the situation far too seriously. Friendliness is a better way to end conflict than shouting profanity across a busy street.

EDIT: Hey lookie here! Friend Adam mentioned in a bicycling article at New Times!

random thoughts regarding footwear in artistic and erotic nudes

2008-01-25T12:57:00.001-05:00

Comment posted on BoingBoing's displaying of the new Tickler Ukulele logo, created by Amy Crehore:

Somewhere in the world there must be a discussion of the use of footwear in nude portraiture, both erotic and non-erotic.

Thinking entirely off the cuff, in pornography it seems to serve three purposes (in declining order of importance):
1. keeping the performer's feet clean as they go around the set (utilitarian)
2. titillation of the audience (practical, in the sense they serve to further the purpose of the work)
3. creation of an air of spontaneity on behalf of the performers (subtle practicality)

Again these are just my guesses and directors/photographers probably could give far better insight.

But in art? What purpose does it serve here? How are Amy's goals met not only by the use of shoes but of decorative ankle ribbons? The ribbons were what inspired me to write this. They do not appear to have been left on after disrobing, quite the opposite: the ribbons are the sole nod to typical clothing. She has not picked up the ukulele after growing tired midway through playing dress up, she IS dressed up.

There are likely also connotations involved in artistic nudes that gingerly hide the most sexual parts that I am not qualified to discuss and make any comparisons to erotic nudes that much more difficult. Regardless, it is a fascinating picture, as are nearly all of Amy's works.

Introductions

2008-01-25T12:54:00.000-05:00

Miami
Moonlight
Maraschino

I'm home.